Let’s stop shit talking ourselves. Let’s stop putting our creative efforts down, putting ourselves down, let’s stop insulting ourselves.
- When we shit talk ourselves, over and over and over, we begin to believe it, and it becomes paralyzing.
- When we shit talk ourselves, and believe it, it becomes impossible to believe compliments and positive feedback from others.
- Worse, when we shit talk ourselves and our work until we believe it, we become unable to cope with constructive criticism, because we can’t see the value in what we’ve created in the first place.
- When we shit talk our work, when we believe our shit talk, it keeps us from taking risks, it keeps us terrified of failure, unable to cope with imperfection, unable to start things, unable to finish things.
This is certainly not an exclusively gendered thing, but it does go out especially to my women friends and followers, because we are taught in ways subtle and forward that pride is not for us, that we must always be tentative, that we must always dismiss compliments lest we become that arrogant bitch.
Shit talk keeps us focused on the wrong things, keeps us from constructively evaluating our work, keeps us from seeking out constructive criticism, keeps us from giving constructive criticism, keeps us from growing, keeps us enthralled to the demon of perfection.
You and I will never get really good at whatever it is that we want to be good at by kicking ourselves in the teeth over and over again.
So be that arrogant bitch, that arrogant bastard, and when you catch yourself starting to shit talk, just take pause, step back, and interrogate whatever it is that you were thinking/saying about yourself, and if it’s not constructive, if it’s not going to help you improve, if it’s just going to stick in you like a thorn the next time you want to do that thing, fucking wad it up and throw it away.
I know— “but I really believe it’s all shit and awful and everyone hates it and doesn’t matter.”
Sure, so do I. But we also have a spark of believing that it’s good, maybe that it could be great, that someone will love it, even if it’s just ourselves, and I fucking know this is true because if it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be doing it, and neither would I.
You’ve got so much talent, you’ve got so much amazing, you’ve got so many fantastic things to create, and they matter, and you matter, so let’s get to it.